Derby Day Approaches

That’s right folks, our great national holiday is only a day away: the 136th running of the Kentucky Derby. This time tomorrow, I’ll be at the track on my way to a good drunk and reviewing, for the hundredth time, the field and odds for the race. No matter what happens with the results, a good time will surely be had by me.

As you well know by now, I’m a compulsive gambler. And if there’s one thing I know about compulsive gamblers, you should never take their advice on the subject of wagering. Nevertheless, I’m going to share with you, gentle readers, my current picks.

The race time favorite is going to be Looking for Lucky, a Bob Baffert trained entrant. Obviously, this horse has the pedigree and record that supports him going off at a mere 3 to 1. He also has the advantage of running in the first position. For a straight bet, however, these odds are simply too short to play, though you should consider this horse in any exotic wagering.

I see Dean’s Kitten, currently going off at 50 to 1 to be an interesting long shot wager. Though he did poorly on his only dirt race, last year’s Pilgrim, he has the ability to close late. If the race is tight and an opportunity presents itself, don’t be surprised to catch the Kitten coming down the stretch and hitting the board at a huge price.

I’ve always been a big fan of trainer D. Wayne Lukas. This is why I just can’t ignore Dublin, a chestnut colt. He has an excellent pedigree and is in the hands of the Derby master Lukas, which almost automatically makes him a threat. At 12 to 1, I’m going to get some action on this horse. If the price falls below 10 to 1, however, I may change my mind.

There you have it, degenerates. Now go out there and get your gamble on!

Anonymous Quote

"Masquerading as a normal person day after day is exhausting."

Stay Lusty, Lady Love

In a sad piece of news for sex junkies in the fair city of Seattle this week, the Lusty Lady peep show on First Avenue announced that, after twenty-seven years of continuous operation, (That’s twenty four hours a day, three hundred and sixty five days a year) they would be closing their doors forever.

This hallowed hall of sexual delight was best known for the slogans it placed on its marquee. Phrases such as, “Happy Nude Year,” “Porn on the Fourth of July,” “Merry XXXMas,” and “Happy Spanksgiving,” adorned the frontispiece of the building for years, annoying prudes and amusing perverts, businessmen and tourists alike.

The ailing economy, local construction and, of course, the internet, were all factors that led to a steep decline in business for the Lady.

I visited this fine establishment once, in 1995, while a junior at the University of Oregon. The selection of performers ranged from fairly attractive to downright skanky, and were very comparable to the quality of girls featured at the San Francisco location. But with a pocketful of quarters and a bottle of booze swishing around in my gut, I enjoyed my experience thoroughly, escaping, for a brief moment, the worries of my undergraduate existence.

Lady, you will not be forgotten.