Tuesday, June 30, 2020

Condo Conversion, Chapter 1

          I wrote this novella, entitled “Condo Conversion” about twelve or thirteen years ago. Since then it has just been sitting, gathering dust, digitally speaking. (There must be a hard copy somewhere with some literal dust on it.) Because it is thematically appropriate for this forum, I have decided to serialize it here. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it. 

                                                1

There is no inherent honor in poverty.  Being broke doesn’t mean that you know something more than the next guy.  Financial suffering may beget knowledge of a kind, but it doesn’t infuse a man with moral superiority.  There is no implicit dignity in penury.  Comfort with indigence is not the equal of self-respect.  But poor people love to tell you just the opposite; it helps them justify their existence.  Some even wear t-shirts that declare proudly, “School of Hard Knocks.”
            But there is even less honor in mediocrity, in grinding out a living unhappily –silently desperate, detached from anything approaching a true calling.  The content bum on the street is more of a man than the chump in middle management who drives his Honda Accord to work everyday wondering where in the world his dreams ran off to and trying to pinpoint the moment in time that he finally gave up. 
            I don’t care what you do for a living.  It doesn’t really matter.  You could be a lawyer, doctor, politician, food server, heroin junkie, statesman, dentist, garbage man, receptionist, horse jockey, welfare recipient, Mafia strongman or thief.  If you are what you do, if you are passionate about your occupation, you are truly blessed.
            For many years, I searched for that one thing that I wanted to do above all others.  And when I failed to find it, I decided that I would just commit to something that vaguely interested me.  I’d bet it all on red; and damn it if I wasn’t going, through the sheer force of my own will, to fit that little white ball into a red slot.  It was a good strategy.  I did my best.  My parents, mentors, friends and neighbors – sometimes even a stranger on the street – justified my decision by telling me what a good one it was.  How could I be wrong when everybody else told me I was right?
            But the truth is all I’ve ever wanted was to be left alone: to work as little as possible, to pursue the things which truly interest me but may not garner great financial success, to ignore the desires of outsiders.  “Of course,” says the third party.  “Who doesn’t want what you describe?  But we all have to grow up sometime.”  I don’t resent this logic; I embrace it.  The majority of my life I have grappled with this eventuality with even more of Kierkegaard’s fear and trembling than I do with the abysmal eventuality that is inherent in my own mortality.  Perhaps this is because I erroneously view the latter event to be far away.  To me, life has always contained two deaths: the second is the day your vital functions cease to operate; the first is the day you admit you’ll never accomplish the things you always dreamed and decide to settle for less. 
            Alexander the Great one day in the city of Corinth came across the renowned philosopher Diogenes.  Familiar with the strange man, the Emperor deigned to speak to the impoverished cynic. 
“Diogenes,” he said, sitting high atop his horse.  “Have you no favor to ask of me?”
“Get out of my sunlight,” the philosopher responded.
Upon riding away, Alexander was heard to remark, “Were I not Alexander, I would be Diogenes.”
            I’d love to be rich.  Dining out regularly and at the best restaurants would give me great pleasure.  Driving a fast, sleek automobile is an experience that I know to be exhilarating, one of the essential American joys.  Regular sex with beautiful, classy women certainly comes at a price, a price I would gladly pay if the means were at my disposal.
            But given the choice between relative poverty and a life of meaningless toil that contains no essential joy I choose the former.  My only real ambition is free time.  So, rather than compete for something that I have no honest desire for, I will absent myself from the games.  I am aware that I will never be Alexander.  I guess I’ll try to be more like Diogenes. 

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