Monday, December 14, 2009

Addict Recommends: (Film) The Road (2009)


Director: John Hillcoat

Starring: Viggo Mortensen, Codi Smit-McPhee, Charlize Theron, Guy Pearce

Normally, I wouldn’t go outside the four corners of this blog and recommend something that is in no way related to the mission. But this movie affected me so profoundly, left such terrible scars on my psyche, that – after much deliberation – I’ve decided to break my own rule. It is quite possible that this will never happen again.

The movie is based on a book by Cormac McCarthy, who also wrote No Country for Old Men, adapted for film by the Coen brothers. (I have already ordered a copy of The Road and am awaiting its arrival with bated breath.) It follows a father and son who travel in a post-apocalyptic world, searching for the coastline and heading south, where the conditions may be more favorable for living. What befell earth is a mystery, but the destruction and devastation is complete. All life other than human has been apparently wiped out. The world’s forests are filled with burnt embers instead of trees. Existence has been reduced to a desperate struggle for food. Many, if not most, people who survive do so by practicing predatory cannibalism. It’s not just that human life has been wiped out; humanity itself is teetering on the edge of a bottomless precipice.

Don’t expect The Road Warrior when going to see this movie. Mad Max’s world is a carnival ride in comparison to what you’re in for with The Road. Be prepared for a place so bleak, so unthinkably brutal as to be almost without hope. It is in this setting that “The Man,” portrayed by Mortensen, tells his son that they are the “good guys” who are “carrying the fire inside.” But even the good guys face terrible choices in a world where everyone you meet is potentially seeking to rape and then consume your child.

“The boy is my warrant,” The Man says early in the film. And throughout the narrative, it is clear that his only purpose is in protecting the child from harm. But this protection also includes instructing the boy how to commit suicide with a pistol in a hopeless situation. “The Boy,” (played excellently by Kodi Smit-McPhee) is often the moral voice, the counterpoint to The Man’s natural impulse to violently oppose every person they come across. This dynamic is played out perfectly when the two catch a thief attempting to steal their food and worldly possessions.

Chalize Theron portrays “The Woman,” who we get to know through flashbacks and recollections of The Man. (Apparently, this aspect of the film is not present in the book.) Her performance is the essence of despair in the face of truly insurmountable odds and, like a horrific accident, is impossible to turn away from. Robert Duvall also has a wonderful cameo as “Old Man,” a decent person in a world of monsters who is basically waiting for his own death.

This movie is a work of art that offends and challenges the viewer’s sensibilities. It sat on the shelves for a year before release. I can certainly understand why. There is nothing easy about seeing this. But in the end, somehow, you leave knowing you’ve witnessed something special and strangely, sublimely beautiful.

The Winter of My Discontent

It’s the same every year, every year it’s the same…to paraphrase rapper Too $hort. The forces are identical as in the past: the grinding financial pressure that isn’t really related to purchasing holiday presents but still reveals itself at just this time in the year; the growing, often illogical resentment I feel at people around me, and the equally illogical solutions I seek to quell these burgeoning pressures and feelings, which, of course, only exacerbate them in the end.

And it’s very strange, because I like Santa, Jesus, Christmas trees, decorations and lights. I was raised Catholic, and though I have my serious doubts about eternal salvation I do feel strongly that this season is supposed to evoke those good values that Christianity purports to champion. I see glimmers at times, short bursts of clarity which warm me. But generally speaking, this is a month of tribulation that can’t end soon enough.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Honest Addict, Chapter Three

3

The market was down four hundred and sixty-five points and it was only eleven o’clock in the morning. Pandemonium ruled the investment offices of Dunlop, Doskocil and Weir. Phones were ringing so regularly that junior executives couldn’t keep up with the volume of calls. Account representatives wore anxious looks as they pleaded with account holders to weather the storm and hold on to their stocks. Days like this had ruined hundreds of firms in the past, and everybody in the room knew it. The lives and financial futures of countless wives, children, mistresses, bartenders, bookies and drug dealers hung in the balance and in the hands of a few desperate, fast talking young men.

From his desk Peter focused his concentration on Gerald Jankovic, a horse-faced account representative who had been hired the same week as Peter, but had moved up the company ladder at a much slower pace. Gerald was a good guy, but had a tendency to crack under the pressure. He had four children below the age of eight and a wife as unattractive as she was mean spirited. Sweat began gathering in opaque domes on his ample forehead, which, when observed in the fractional, frozen moment, appeared almost crystalline, like tiny, hemispherical pieces of quartz.

“I’m telling you, Mr. Davidson, this is not the right time to close your account with our company,” Gerald implored, his body gesturing in a twisted, almost tortured way. “What? The right time? Well, um, Mr. Davidson, there is no right time. No. What I mean is: if you look historically, the stock market always goes up over time. The worst time to get out of the market is right after a downturn like we’ve just experienced. Huh? The market crash of 1929 was a completely different event altogether sir. Well, for one thing, they didn’t have the mechanisms to shut down trading if things got out of…No, please Mr. Davidson, just listen…”

Gerald put down the phone dejectedly and ran his right hand through his dark, matted hair. He looked at Peter. “The guy just hung up. What do I do?”
“I guess you close his account,” Peter replied.
“How many times have I told you,” J.B. Richardson, the in-house manager, bellowed from across the room “that you never let a client dictate the terms of the conversation?”
Gerald stared at Peter, then at Richardson. Somehow he held onto the mistaken hope that he was not the intended recipient of this verbal salvo.
“I’m talking to you, Jankovic, you fucking dimwit!”
Gerald opened his mouth to respond, but nothing other than a few feeble stammers came out. Richardson crossed the floor like he was going to punch Gerald, his face red, his breathing heavy.

Peter whispered, “Psst, he was listening to your call” – a common occurrence at Dunlop, Doskocil and Weir. Upper management believed in a Gestapoesque monitoring of company employees, a tactic used to instill fear, thereby contributing immensely toward quality control. At least, this was how the partners felt about the practice. Peter knew that they still listened in on his calls from time to time, despite his advanced position at the firm. There were numerous other indignities which he fortunately avoided, but clandestine surveillance was not one of them.

“Give me one reason, Jankovic, why I shouldn’t fire your stupid ass right here and now,” Richardson screamed, spit flying from his mouth, his nose three inches from Gerald’s, his index finger planted in the center of his employee’s chest.
“I…I…uh.”
“That’s not an answer!”
“I work hard, sir. I put in the hours…”
Richardson pulled back and took a few deep breaths. He appeared to calm down.
“Is that all you’ve got for me?”
“I’ll do better, sir. This is a bad day. I’ll improve.”
“You’re fired. Pack up your shit right now and leave this building. You’re worthless and you know it. We haven’t the time, space or oxygen for you here.”
Gerald stared into his boss’ eyes, dumbfounded.
“Did you hear me? Asshole! Pack your shit up. You no longer work here.”
“Sir, I have a family. Don’t do this to me. Not now.”
“You should have thought of them before you lost that client,” he retorted. And with that the tyrant turned his back and walked calmly to his office on the opposite side of the room and closed the door.

***

Peter felt sick and wanted to get high. He found Jimmy the security guard behind his desk on the ground floor, staring absentmindedly into space. It must be a painfully boring job, he thought to himself. But nothing could be as dehumanizing as the scene he had witnessed only minutes before. Jimmy greeted him in his usual spirited manner.

“What’s up Mr. C? How’s things in the world of high finance?”
“Worse than usual. The market is tanking. I was hoping we could take one of our little trips to the roof today.”
A grin came across the boyish face. “I was just thinking I could use a little toke,” he whispered. “Give me a minute and we’ll head up.”

The pair got out on the thirty-fifth floor and took the stairs the rest of the way. Upon emerging from the confines of the building, Peter was almost immediately filled with a feeling of relief. It was the perfect San Francisco day: crisp and clear, a few clouds moving lazily through the sky, the bay shimmering in the distance, dotted here and there with cargo vessels, tankers and sailboats out for a weekday pleasure cruise.

The investment consultant pulled out a pack of Marlboros and withdrew a thin joint from between two cigarettes. It lit easily and burned quickly, the marijuana being particularly dry. He passed it to Jimmy, who took a couple of light hits and passed it back. The joint didn’t last very long, only a few rips each, but it was more than enough for a midday session. Soon the two of them were quite stoned and staring silently into the distance.

The downtown looked alive, especially from such a detached height. Below tiny, well dressed men and women emerged from the magnificent buildings and hustled to and fro, escaping for that brief moment their servitude to the lords of the office. Above, on the façade of one building, a series of upright angels looked north over the city. On another, stone gargoyles squatted on their haunches, many of them apparently laughing at some unknown and eternal joke. Imitation gothic spires, a watered down approximation of the architecture of a more inspired time, rose almost majestically toward heaven on yet another. The sun reflected off a thousand windows, a kaleidoscope of light and color. For a hundred years it had been this way in basically this very spot. The fashions changed, a few new buildings went up, the people grew older, retired to their suburban homes, died and were replaced by a new generation. But ultimately nothing was altered. For Peter this thought was comforting.

“Hey, thanks for the weed,” Jimmy said quietly.
“Don’t mention it.”
“It’s pretty cool, isn’t it? Coming up here, just for a little while. I’d do it even if we didn’t smoke out.”
Upon hearing these words, Peter felt a rush of emotion. He looked his companion straight in the eye. “It’s the only thing I’ve done all day that has any meaning whatsoever.” He patted the security guard on the shoulder. “You’re the only person in this building I really respect.”
Jimmy stared back, saying nothing. He looked a little confused.

When he returned to his desk, Peter saw that the light on line four was flashing. A feeling of dread came over him, an ever-ready companion, especially at work. To his coworkers he was the golden boy, the guy who could talk his way through anything. And although in a way this was at least partially true, he didn’t really believe it. In his head there was a man nobody knew, an anxious little soul who only wanted to fly away. A deep breath and a private reminder to put on a good show preceded his answering the call.

“This is Castellano,” he said, wishing he was still floating in the clouds above the city.
“It’s about time you answered my call,” a voice on the other end barked.
“To whom am I speaking?”
“Son, you are speaking to Bill Goodpasture. And I’ve got one hell of a lotta money tied up with your firm.”

The man wasn’t lying. William Goodpasture was the fifth largest account holder at Dunlop, Doskocil and Weir, having under management over one hundred and thirty three million dollars in securities, earning for the firm every year, regardless of profit or loss, one million three hundred and thirty thousand dollars. He was the single biggest account holder not personally represented by one of the named partners, a sign of the confidence the company had in Peter’s abilities.

Goodpasture was born into money, his father having been a successful Texas oil man. But the old timer had taught him well: he was no fool with money. In twenty years he had turned a ten million dollar inheritance into over a one billion dollar real estate empire, stretching from the central Texas plains, north to Oklahoma, and west through New Mexico, Arizona and Southern California. And his personality was almost as big as his bankroll. Part sophisticate, part redneck Bubba, you could find him hunting elk and pounding Budweiser on one of his many spreads one day and drinking fifteen hundred dollar a bottle Bordeaux in an exclusive Beverly Hills restaurant the next. Adventurer, tycoon, blowhard, gentleman, hick: all these words appropriately described the man depending on the moment in time one encountered him. But in this instance he was simply pissed off.

“Son, my portfolio is down fourteen percent today. Do you know how much money that is?”
“Of course I do, Mr. Goodpasture. You are my most important client.”
“Really? Then why the hell was I put on hold for ten minutes?”
“To be perfectly honest sir, I was sitting on the can,” he lied.
“Boy, are you tellin’ me you were takin’ a shit?”
“That’s what I’m telling you.”
“Do you realize how much that shit cost me?”
“Several hundred thousand dollars, sir.”
“That’s right. That’s exactly right. Ain’t no time for shittin’ when it’s my money goin’ down the toilet.”
“I understand your frustration, sir, I truly do. But what’s done is done. How can I help you now?”
“Are you takin’ a tone with me, boy?”
“I’m trying to serve you, to resolve your problems with my company. If I’m brusque, it’s only because I want to find a solution immediately.”
Goodpasture sighed. “You’re a good kid, Peter. You’ve always been all right in my book. But this shit has to stop now. The market is goin’ to hell and I can’t take any more losses. I want you to liquidate my account as fast as possible and terminate my relationship with your firm. Times up.”
“With all due respect, sir, you’d have to be an idiot to get out now.”

With these words, the door to J.B. Richardson’s office flew open and he came running across the room toward Peter’s desk, a look of utter disbelief on his face. He had been listening in. He gestured for Peter to end the conversation by using the familiar slash across the throat motion. Peter extended his middle finger as way of reply, only further enraging the man who was technically – but not in any significant sense – his direct superior. But one thing was now for sure: the result of this conversation would determine Peter’s future at the firm. Strangely, this prospect held no anxiety for him. Actually, it gave him a sense of absolute relief and freedom of action.

“Who the hell are you to be tellin’ me what I should be doin’ with my money?” Goodpasture asked. “I’ve made more in the last five years than you’re gonna see if you lived two lifetimes.”
“I’m not disputing that, sir. But I know more about the market than you do, despite your infinitely greater wealth. I’m an expert in this field like you’re an expert in yours. And I am telling you that this market has bottomed out. Only fools drop out at the bottom: men dominated by fear. And we both know that you are not one of those men. That’s why you’re going to remain with my company. Because we’re winners; I’m a winner, and you know it. Honestly, I think you should drop another fifty million into your account immediately. You’ll make a killing.”
Laughter erupted from the other end of the phone. “You’re crazier than I thought you were. But you got balls, son; I’ve got to give you that. Today is Tuesday: you got till market close Friday to turn this thing around. It’s probably gonna cost me an extra ten million, but what the hell. I need another tax write off anyway.”

Peter hung up the phone and reclined in his chair. He didn’t say a word.
“Well,” Richardson asked, his eyes bugging out of their sockets.
“Well what?” Peter replied obnoxiously.
“Don’t fuck with me. Not now. You may be number one around here but I still have a say in…”
“He’s not going anywhere,” Peter said with a wave of his hand. “Assuming things improve this week. And even if they don’t, I’ll find a way to keep him around.”
“Jesus Christ,” J.B. said, his torso slumping with relief inside the armor of his heavily starched shirt. “If we had lost that account it would have been curtains for both of us. I can’t believe you called him an idiot. But you really pulled it off, man: I’ve got to give it to you. Way to go.”
“Whatever,” Peter replied, disgusted. “If he’d left us you would have run off to the partners and demanded my ass. You’re no friend of mine. And don’t think I’m not perfectly aware of that fact.”
“Hey, let’s not make this a thing. You know as well as I do that this business is all about results. Money talks and bullshit walks, right?”
“Then why don’t you start walking,” Peter retorted. “I’ve got work to do.”

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

God Bless John Daly


It appears my favorite golfer is back in the limelight. Yahoo! Sports today reports that Daly, “has shed well over 100 pounds in the last year as a result of lap-band surgery, and he's now a slim, trim 185. He's talking about writing a new book, and at a press conference Tuesday prior to the Australian PGA, he noted that he'd also like to see a movie made of the insanity that has been his life, both on and off the course.”

Honestly, I don’t care what the man does from here on out. In my book, his life has already been a huge success. He’s reached the peaks of golfing triumph, he’s been down and out, he’s won and lost millions of dollars golfing and gambling. He’s been a drunk, a degenerate and a champion. He’s been married and divorced four times. That’s enough life for three men. I get so tired listening to the talking heads on ESPN pontificate about what a disaster his life has been, how he’s wasted his potential, how drinking has destroyed his game. They can’t read his mind. They don’t know what interior struggles he’s gone through. They don’t know what he’s chasing.

That being said, I’d love to read his book or see a movie about his life – so long as it comes from or is endorsed by J.D.

A Quote From Hunter S. Thompson


"I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me."

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Addict Recommends: (Film) Days of Wine and Roses (1962)


Director: Blake Edwards

Starring: Jack Lemmon, Lee Remick, Jack Klugman

One of the first great addiction movies, (following 1945’s The Lost Weekend) this was a breakout film for Jack Lemmon, presaging by many decades his legendary late life portrayal of the pathetic salesman Shelley Levene in David Mamet’s film Glengarry Glen Ross.

Lemmon plays Joe Clay, a heavy social drinker and classic functioning specimen. From the beginning, we see Joe at the bar exhorting the bartender to “hit me again.” Before he takes a drink he says to himself – a phrase he repeats more than once in the film – “magic time.” But Joe manages his drinking, has what appears to be a good job and actually uses his habit to advantage in a world where a three martini lunch and getting hammered with a client late at night is considered good form and basic socializing among men. (One cannot help but think of the television series Mad Men when watching this movie.)

Shortly into the film, Joe meets Kirsten, played very well by the lovely Lee Remick. As they begin dating, Kirsten tells Joe that she doesn’t like alcohol, but that she has a heavy fixation for chocolate. So he mixes her a brandy Alexander, which appeases her sweet tooth and provides Joe with a much needed female drinking companion. As their relationship grows we see that each needs the other in a desperate love where something amorphous and indefinable is clearly missing. But for the moment, anyway, their love is an island of refuge in a turbulent sea.

The couple marry and the problems begin in earnest. Joe, frustrated at work, where he is often required to perform tasks which challenge his somewhat vague morality, comes home drunk or needing to drink every night. He is clearly losing control of his habit. He complains that Kirsten won’t drink with him enough, that he needs her to join in his nightly ritual. Finally, she relents and falls down a rabbit hole of her own, one that, ultimately, goes even deeper than her husband’s.

Jack Klugman does an excellent job of portraying Jim Hungerford, Joe’s Alcoholics Anonymous sponsor who gives good advice and displays unending patience and understanding for his charge, who loses jobs, friends and familial ties because of his addiction. Jim is always there when Joe falls off the wagon and is also there to help him get back on when the time is right. But things are not so simple for Kirsten, who doesn’t buy into the AA worldview.

The movie is a little preachy at times and a bit too bent on the concept that Alcoholics Anonymous is the only savior of the problem drunk. However, we need to remember when watching this film that it was made in 1962, and was way ahead of its time. The subject matter is well presented and very well acted, especially by Lemmon. This may be one of the top two or three performances of his amazing career.

Monday, December 7, 2009

Honest Addict, Chapter Two

2

The funeral was held at Grace Cathedral on San Francisco’s famous and eminently wealthy Nob Hill. There was not an empty seat in the spacious house. The attendants represented every important element of society in the Bay Area. The mayors of Oakland and San Francisco, district supervisors and council people, members of the ballet and symphony, the curator of the Museum of Modern Art, a member of Congress, several famous local actors and actresses, religious leaders from every community, downtown financial titans, artists, writers and musicians were all in attendance to pay homage to the wife of financial titan Eugene Rutherford, the richest and most influential man in the history of Northern California since William Randolph Hearst. Everybody who mattered was there to be a part of the event, which was, in its own way, the closing of a chapter in history. The press, never to be dissuaded from an opportunity to capture fleeting images of the rich and famous, skulked and sniffed around the outside of the Cathedral like ravenous wolves.

The reception was held in the Ballroom at the Ritz Carlton. Only a few of the entourage from the service did not find their way into the sumptuous interior of the hotel, where only the finest wine, booze and food was being served. They, too, were ravenous: for the food, the drink and the attention. As Peter gulped his vodka-tonic he surveyed the lamentable scene that was unfolding in front of him. Everywhere he looked he saw fraudulence; the smiles, the handshakes, the impeccably rehearsed memories, the crocodile tears: nothing he viewed or heard rang true in the least to him. Of all the people in the room he was perhaps the best to judge the veracity of the crowd, for in his heart he knew that he was as full of shit as any of them.

Jeanette at least was being herself. She had begun drinking prior to the service and was drunk before the reception was an hour old. At first, her intoxication took on the form of a strange solemn chattiness, a papier-mâché brave face that fell apart after half an hour. Subsequent to that, she became inconsolable with grief, her tears smearing makeup down her face. Peter had tried to be a comfort, taking her to the bathroom, helping to clean off the running mascara, attempting to say the things he believed she wanted to hear. But at this point she manifested a sullen, brooding attitude and wanted nothing at all to do with him, preferring instead the company of another young man she knew, a twenty-something musician named Brad whom Peter suspected Jeanette was sleeping with when it suited her.

“What’s the story with your girlfriend?” a woman’s voice asked from out of the crowd.
Peter focused his vision in the general direction of the voice. “Excuse me?” he responded.
“You are Jeanette Rutherford’s boyfriend, right? I saw you sitting with her in the front row of the funeral. Now she’s hanging all over that little twerp at the bar, the one with the spiked hair wearing jeans. What the hell is up with that?” She was an older woman, probably in her late forties or early fifties, but she was extremely attractive – straight, full, dark brown hair that went down her back, an angular face offset by perfectly round eyes and ample, dark red lips and a curvy figure that women decades younger aspired to – the kind of woman men dream of having when they enter their more advanced years.
“She is getting drunk,” he responded bluntly. “She is a different person when she drinks, I assure you. You can hardly blame her for tying one on; her mother has only been dead six days.”
“Oh of course. But still, it must bother you…”
“Actually, no. People think of me as her boyfriend, but I’m not really…not in the traditional sense.”
“And what sense is that?”
“I know there is no future with her, that sooner or later this thing will fall apart. You’d be surprised how liberating having no expectations can be.”
“But I did see you in the front row.”
“I have been a friend of the family for many years now. I will continue to be a friend of the family in the future, even after…”
“Look at my manners,” the mystery woman interrupted as she extended her delicate hand, “my name is Margaret Swift.”
“Peter Castellano.”
“What do you do for a living, Peter?”
“I manage high net worth accounts at Dunlop, Doskocil and Weir, Investment Consultants.”
“Really? That must be fascinating work.”
He recognized something in her tone and knew what was coming even though it did not fully materialize in his mind at exactly this moment. It was more of a familiar feeling, a sense of deja-vu, that he had been in this position before. “I’m afraid you would find what I do for a living to be very tedious, Mrs. Swift. It’s little more than upper-level babysitting.”
“Ms. Swift.”
“Pardon me. I saw the ring.”
“I got divorced a year ago but I’ve always loved the ring, and see no reason to take it off now.”
“Hmm.”
“I’m going to be blunt, Peter, as at my age one tires of delays and misdirection. I have a room here at the hotel. You interest me. Men are usually interested in me. Do you see what I’m saying?”
“I do.”
“What do you think?”

Suddenly, a great crash came from the bar and Peter could see Jeanette struggling with Brad. She screamed, “Get your fucking hands off me you son of a bitch!” The party came to a complete standstill. All eyes were focused on the scene. Not a word was spoken; not so much as a cough or a sneeze cut through the silence. Jeanette Rutherford, realizing the effect of her words, put her hand to her mouth and began giggling uncontrollably. She stumbled at first forward and to the left, then to the right, reaching out in the air for the bar that was now several feet behind her. She slumped to the ground, her legs crossed unnaturally. Peter turned toward his new companion.
“I think that would be very pleasant. I’m sure you are everything you appear to be and more. I have no doubt you could fuck any man in the room you wanted to. But I’m afraid I have more important matters to attend to at this time. It was a pleasure meeting you. Excuse me.”

He walked over to the bar and picked Jeanette up off the floor. She was mumbling something incoherent in his ear.
“Don’t worry, babe. I’m taking you to bed now. Wouldn’t that be nice?”
“Yeah, that’d be nice,” she muttered, her head resting on his shoulder, her legs wrapped around his torso like a sleepy child.

They entered the sumptuous suite and Peter threw her on the bed. He took his jacket off, unbuttoned his collar and loosened the tie that was knotted tight around his neck. He felt like he could breathe again. He grabbed a tumbler from off the table and poured a heavy glass of Johnnie Walker from the makeshift but complete bar Jeanette had assembled.
“What about me?” she inquired. Now her voice was sweet and pleading. He turned and saw as her eyes rolled into the back of her head.
“You’ve had enough, sweetheart.”
“Yeah, well I think you’ve had enough.”
“You’re probably right,” he said, as he took a pull off the warm scotch. “But it’s not as obvious.”
“Motherfucker,” she hissed spitefully.
He turned the television on and flipped around looking for the scores of the morning football games.
“Peter?”
“Yeah.”
“I want you to fuck me.”
“Uh-huh,” he responded, sitting on the edge of the bed as he found a wrap-up of the early NFL action.
“Are you listening to me?”
“I heard you, hon. You’re too drunk for that now, much as I’d like to.”
“I am not too drunk. I’m exactly as drunk as I should be. Now get over here, whip out your dick and fuck me.”
“Could you be quiet for just a minute? I’ve got a lot of money riding on these games.”
She moaned. “I need to feel something goddamnit! Take off my dress for me.”
Peter turned toward her and felt a twinge of compassion that vaporized almost immediately. She certainly was a bad drunk, he thought to himself. Even her good looks could not overcome the revulsion he felt when she was in this condition. “Listen,” he said seriously, “one of us has to get back to the reception. Now how about I tuck you into bed? You’ll feel better once you get to sleep.”
“Whatever,” she said as she rolled onto her side.

He pulled out the sheets and put them over her, tucking them under her chin. Her mouth opened wide and she began breathing heavier. She was asleep within a couple of minutes.

The scores of the games flashed by quickly, but Peter had no problem keeping up with the results and their effect on his financial position in his mind. He had a gift for the quick math of gambling.
Kansas City 23, Miami 17: minus $1650.00 on the straight bet on the Dolphins plus three and a half, minus $1000.00 on the parlay to the under: negative $2650.00.
Indianapolis 35, Oakland 21: plus $1500.00 on the Colts minus seven and a half: overall negative $1150.00.
San Francisco 17, St. Louis 14: plus $1500.00 on the 49ers, pick ‘em: overall positive $350.00.
Pittsburgh 23, Cleveland 17: minus $1650.00 on the Steelers, who were favored by 7: overall negative $1300.00.
New York 28, Tennessee 27: plus $1500.00 on the Titans, underdogs by a field goal: overall positive $200.00

Not bad, he thought to himself. As the 1:15 games had only just begun, he turned off the television, not bothering to check their scores. He had twelve thousand dollars riding on the afternoon games, and wasn’t going to watch them. What a waste, he thought ruefully.

He went to the bathroom and stared in the mirror. The face that looked back at him would have pleased most men in their thirties: clear, blemish free, tanned skin, a full head of thick black hair, dark brown eyes and a face that was the definition of symmetry. No feature was too large or small, no single area stood out as a problem. Despite his habitual self-destruction, he was still in good shape and had never developed the thick midsection of some of his married friends. He should have been satisfied, but he wasn’t. For as Peter Castellano stared into the mirror all he saw was the reflection of a man who had lost his way, a reflection of the same society that coughed up all those sycophantic, self-absorbed fakers he had been forced to deal with all day.

He splashed cold water on his face then dried it off with a towel. He tightened the dark blue Hermes tie that hung loosely around his neck and buttoned the top of his shirt. Staring again into the mirror, he reminded himself that he had a job to do, that today wasn’t about his petty psychological problems. A vision of Carol Rutherford just before she died flashed in his memory. It was impossible for him not to find life pointless when these images entered his mind.

But then he remembered her bravery during those last days and hours; he saw that spark of light that still shone in her eyes even after she had lost the capacity for speech. He thought of the woman who had lived life so well, even when tragedy befell her, and wondered how more of Carol’s fortitude had not been handed down to her daughter. A sign of the times, he mused: each successive generation in fact degeneration.

Peter returned to the bedroom and closed the shades. It was almost completely dark inside. Jeanette stirred in bed but he knew that she was dead to the world, possibly for the rest of the day. He took a deep breath before he returned to the objectionable scene in the ballroom below.