I was seventeen and sitting in history class. The teacher’s name was Lochran. She was a good teacher, someone you could tell wanted to be instructing young people. We meandered off the lesson plan, and got on to the subject of aging. She said, “The one thing about getting older is, you don’t have the emotional highs and lows that you do now. You plateau. And you experience life differently.”
How awful, I thought. And I specifically and deliberately told myself, “I never want that to happen to me. Anything but that.”
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Enjoying your blog. Keep at it. I find that teacher's comment amazing. That's exactly what's wrong with me. I never learned how to plateau. I pretty much get hysterical over every little fucking thing and when I fall, I fall hard. When I look back, most of the things I believed when I was 18 I still believe. I had it right the first time, you fuckers! I see no reason to change.
ReplyDeleteVic,
ReplyDeleteI’m completely with you. I often remind myself of two things: first, that I find myself today exactly where I always wanted to be. Also, I often think of how cool my eighteen year old self would think the thirty-five year old self turned out to be. The complication is I’m not eighteen any more.
But I just wouldn’t take it any other way. I live for the highs as well as the lows. And not only do I see no reason to change…I simply don’t know how that change would ever be effectuated.
Thanks for the words, my friend.